Anyway, to say that the tour got off to a roaring start would be an utter and complete lie. Who ever invented getting up aat 4am needs to be shot. Seriously, that time doesn't exist. I am firmly convinced that I had crossed into another plane of existance or something. Early mornings are for the birds. On a side note. I HATE German keyboards. Do you know how many times you use the letter "y" when typing? Let me tell you, a lot! And having the position of the y and the z swapped around, not mention most of the punctuation, causes havoc with your typing. But anzwaz (fsking kezs...[keys!!]).
Back to topic. No wait a sec I forgot something. The todo list. I have decided a todo list would be awesome for helping me remember what the hell I have to talk about on the post, so:
- errr
- ummm
- k
- so
Right so I forgot what is going on the todo list. I'll do one for the next post then. What a mission. Anyway, back to Amsterdam (unless you're one of the stalkers, then you can go back to the lawyers... apparently they didn't explain how restraining orders work properly).
So the coach trip to the ferry was exceptionally short. Less so than should be possible. I am assuming that this is because I was asleep the entire ride. Well not the entire ride. I was awake for the explaination of sexy times. No I'm not kidding. The tour manager did in fact call it sexy times. To what am I refering (she would like you to know that there is only one f in refering. Personally I think she's lying but I don't feel like argiung. I'm layz [damn y and z] like that, now shuttup so I can finish talking)? Why that's simple, a live sex show. Not everyone's cup of tea but hey, it was Amsterdam, it had to be done.
Now that the tour manager had everyone's attention he decided to be a cruel and sadistic bastard. I was still fairly sleepy and she, yes that she, had taken a sleeping tablet so we were both prepared to get back on the coach and pass out. And so our tour manager, Ryan, decided that an ice breaker game was in order... he was planning on having most of us go see a live sex show. I think that should have been ice breaker enough, but anyway, speed dating on the bus was apparently going to be it. Needless to say I met a ton of people whose names I can't remember but almost all of whom remember me because I'm one of the few non-Australian's in the group. Yay me... Luckily I managed to get some sleep after that, followed by our sexy time in Amsterdam...
That show was what I would call an eye opener. Who knew that sex could be so... boring... seriously. There were two, I suppose that you could call them intermissions, where a couple was having sex. And the onlything that seemed to be going through their heads' was "God, is it over yet?" I will, however, concede that most of the rest of the show was awesome. I have never seen a comedy a show of it's equal... well apparently they should invest in better advertising because I could have sworn we were going to a sex show and not a comedy show. But nevertheless, even though it was a comedy show. There were naked people. All I'm going to say is this: did they seriously need a gorilla in the show? Sometimes things can go a bit far...
Now seeing as Amsterdam is pretty much the capitol of sex, drugs and... no thats about it. Sex and drugs, not much good music out of there that I've heard of. Anyway, lets just say that Amsterdam has some rather unique coffee shops with some not so unique, but rather entertaining, baking habits. It's in the ingredients I believe. Must be the special herbs you always hear about... Anyway, it was Amsterdam and I was there to try the local culture... It's as good a reason as any.
Now, while the "baked goods" do give you a great happy feeling. And while having that on top of quite a bit of alcohol can feel even better, wow it's not a pleasant place to fall down from. It's kind of like having the flu while being kicked in the stomache just as you get a fever. So that night was all fun and games... I'll not be attempting that again, at least not in a hurry.
Score:
Me: 1
Her: 1
No comments:
Post a Comment